Fan the Fire of Gossip

In a city of less than 40,000 your gossip isn't secure in the safety deposit box of life. Burlington, VT is not immune to your favorite stories being passed around the water cooler. Gossip is as contagious as a bad flu, so how do you prevent it? More importantly, how do you smooth things over when you've been revealed?

First, you need to understand why you gossip. There are a few reasons why we resort to discussing the meanderings of other lives. Often, the stories are just plain interesting. Other times we gossip because we have nothing interesting enough in our own lives to occupy conversation. Unfortunately, the worst of us will gossip to hurt another co-worker or friend. None of these reasons are good enough to do it. You cannot justify the slanderous illness of gossip.

Second, stop it from the beginning. Before it turns into a 3rd grade game of telephone know that you can prevent the problem. You can change the subject of conversation. If you want to be bold you can begin to compliment the person with whom you were previously gossiping about. This derails the gossip train and eventually the topic will move towards a better course.

Third, kindness is contagious. Befriend the gossiped. Learn more about that person. Invite that person to lunch with you. By creating a true friendship you feel empathy towards the individual rather than enmity.

Finally, what happens if someone found out that you were talking about him or her? The best thing to do in this situation is to be honest. Tell the person that you did gossip about them and that is was highly inappropriate. Apologize and promise them that you won't hurt their valued friendship again.